Chapter 4

I don’t know what this feeling is, but I like it. I thought I felt good about fixing things with Jessica. Getting my friend on the same page about our comic book. But this is everything Jonathan and Joe had beat me to the bus because I was holding hands and walking with Jessica at the end of the day. So when I got on the bus it was full and the only opening seat was the front two seater.Jonathan and Joe were in our usual spot, but some white girl who i noticed as the new girl two doors down from the row home i live in was talking to Joe. I felt anger as that is my spot, but also a little happiness fo rJoe. The three uses aren’t exactly ladykillers, Joe had a mustache but that was it and Jonathan’s body was more solid, but his face was still kid-like. To top it off, we are comic book geeks. Not exactly the stuff of Romeo. So seeing a girl take such an interstate in Joe was a relief that we were not’ as attractive as we thought we were. 

Jonathan gave me a quick expression saying “sorry” and I smiled. I gave him a thumbs up and dropped by bad on the floor in front of my seat. I noticed that his eyes had worry in them but he was smiling too, How does one pull that off. His head pointed at who I would be sitting with. Tracy had her bag between her feet, looking out the window. I could see her breathing, slow and steady. She seemed at peace as her eyes rested. I looked around to see if there were any other seats. Knowing full well when I got there, that was the only seat open. She was wearing a red shirt, black skirt that was the length the school wanted, but her long luscious legs still made it seem short.

“Hi,” she said. Turning her head towards me. Her long black ponytail whipped to the other side. She smiled, small lips widening, and her brown beautiful eyes welcoming to sit down. She moved a little more towards the window to give me room.

My mind raced. My heart pounded. Tracy may have said like four words to me all year. Despite having read together all year. Despite sittin next to each other. Most of those were “hi” or her laughing. That beat mine. I always responded, I never initiated.
 “Hi” I peeked out. Out of the windo I could see April following Daniel to tehri bus. I wondered if she felt like how I did.  It was clear anytime I’ve seen them together she felt something towards him. Btu I only heard her a few times. I sat next to Tracy as the bus doors closed and we drove past Jessica’s bus. She was talking to our friend John. the only boy in school with a mullet. He was a rocker through and through. Since I started dating Jessica he’s been helpful. I knew he liked Jessica. There were times I felt like they should be together. Not that I was mad about his feelings. No, actually I was more confused than mad. Or was it pride? I mean she chose me after all. I wasn’t worried about her going anywhere. Not this time. Especially now that I made her happy.  She didn’t notice us rigging past. Part of me, sadness, i think, or disgust, felt guilty. That she didnt’ notice me on my bus and that I was sitting next to my crush.

The bus ride home was quiet for me. I didn’t say a word to Tracy. I mean, what would I say? Hi, my parents are fighting everyday? Hi, I have a white girlfriend! Hi I’m a comic book geek and you are a model and we should hang out? Yeah, that will make her love you. I took a deep breath as the bus took a turn onto Miho Air Force Base, where we all lived.  Shortly we will pass by my house which was the second court on the right side of the main street. Each court had three row homes Connected by the parking lot in the back of the houses. Eachome had a gated backyard.  There was also a field by the parking lot.  On this rock I would say there were about 5-6 courts. So 15 to 18 homes. Each row home had 6 two story townhomes, and a ranch townhome on each end. .  Joe was court 4. I would assume Tracy was court 5 or six. Or possibly lived on the other side of our block. .  The courses were connected by the front yards.  Which you guessed it, also had a field of grass. .Each court was shaped where when you drive by you see the front row home and its houses. On the fight of the front row hom is the entrance driveway to the parking lot in the back. On the flight of the driveway is what would be considered the first row home of the court but you can only see the side of the grand house at the end as. The left of the row home is the exit driveway and you could see the side of the third row hom. Think the letter u and but with straight lines and you get the picture. So the front yards of the row homes connected the courts. In other words I was in court two but my townhouse is the last one before the connection ran at the end away from the street. We had a little patch of a front year. The field connected our larger yard to the first row home of court three.  

I can’t believe I sat her with another one on one chance to talk to Tracy. This happened once before at the beginning o f the year. Before Jonahtan and Jeo and I became closer. Tacy sat by me and I was sitting on my books. She didn’t seem to notice . We didn’t say hi either.  This felt like that, but without the embarrassment. The bus passed my court  which means in a few minutes Je, Tracy,  the new girl, and I will be getting off at the same stop. I couldn’t help but look at her legs . I followed them all the way up to their skirts. My mind raced with thoughts like, what was she wearing underneath? Then I thought about April and wondered if Tracy might have curves that I couldn’t see but could feel. Like with Jessica today. That was exciting.  I looked away to calm myself down.  But you don’t get this chance often. I mean I was cold and I looked at her during reading class. But even there you don’t want the teacher to call you out for not being focused. Well, focus on the word I mean. So I turned back and she happened to turn towards me. My mind raced again. Did she notice me checking out her legs and her groin? Oh my god. This is horrible. Shame and disgust came back to take over. 

“Was that your girlfriend I saw you walking to her bus?”

My body felt empty. My mind is blank. These small wins with Jessica and making her happy, gone. The excitement of feeling Jessica’s boobs. Gone. The excitement of Tracy’s legs. Gone. April’s braids and hips. Gone. Parents fighting? Gone. Friends fighting over creative disputes. Gone. The world was blank. There was no bus. I could only feel my heart beat and all I could see was her brown eyes. 

Without thinking, I felt my lips move upward. My cheeks puffed out in pride. My eyes opened up more. My nose cleared the air. I could see Tracy, vivid in color, her rich redbone skin color contrasting with the rich black of her hair.  Her lean, elegant frame. I could see a thing of abust.now that i didn’t notice before. Her curiosity was striking. I smiled and without any meekness responded.

“Yes. We’ve been going out for a month now. It’s our second time.”

“Oh, really?” You two look cute together.”

“Um, we do? 

“Yeah, you both seem really happy.”

“Um, Thanks. We are. We had our first hug today.”

Tracy smiled, “First hug, not kiss?”

I managemage a chuckle. Hiding that it was embarrassing to say a hug. Everyone else was kissing and Imtalking about my first hug. I put a hand behind my head as I continued to smile and luggage. 

“Yeah, we’re taking things slow, I have a lot going on, you know?” 

Tracy put her hand on my lap. I felt like someone shocked me. Did she know she was touching my lap? 

“I know, I heard from Antwain you’ll be in the all star game next Friday!” She sounded excited for me. The bus stopped and the doors opened. For some reason my legs moved my body out of the sea and onto the sidewalk.  I wanted to wait for Joe so we could walk back since he lived in court 4, but when I looked back, Tracy was there standing over me, smiling.  “I hear you were good. I can’t wait to see you play.”

“Um, Thanks, I’m not that good.”

“Oh stop it, you’re on the all star team. Antwain says yo and will being short doesn’t mean a thing he’s glad you’re on their team.
 “Antwain said that about me? The best player in the league?”

“Yes, why are you surprised, he told me you both get along.”

“We do” I shrugged as Joe got off the bus and started walking and talking with the new girl. I couldn’t think straight. My crush wants to see me play. This is a trick. This is a trick. This is not happening. I’ve seen shows like this. The pretty, unattainable girl pretends to like the lovable loser, only to be a mean girl.  No, not me,I’m not going out like that. I can hear my dad now. I had a girlfriend who  even if it may have come out of nowhere, seemed like she was into me.  I wondered if this is how my dad was with other women. Is this what he went through? No, my dad didn’t cheat on my mom. I had to help her see that.  

“Can I walk you to your house?” She asked.

I hit the floor. Where did that come from?  No,  something up. I looked and could see that Joe and the new girl were pabout at his court. He didn’t even think about stopping. Tracy lived around her or across the street. So it didn’t make sense to walk me home. Not only that, but it didn’t sound manly.

“Um, no, I got a lot going on right now and I don’t think Antwain would like that.”  I wasn’t sure if they were going out, but her name dropped him alot. He wasn’t a mean guy. Definitely the most mature looking of us though. He had to be well over the average height. Had a pretty good build. Handsome if you listen to the girls. He looked as if he could be in high school. So Tracy looked like she could be a freshman or sophomore so it would make sense if they were together. 

“Why are you worried about Antwain? He’s not my boyfriend or anything. You are always so entertaining in class that I thought you would be entertaining on the court.” With that she leaned over. “Plus you’re cuter and I promise this isn’t a trick. Jessica is lucky to have a guy like you. Most guys would want me to come home with them. I wish my boyfriend was like you.” She walked off. 

Again, my legs did their own thing because I was at my house a few minutes later, huffing and puffing from what my dad had measured to be about 500 meters for my track training. I can’t believe this, despite having to tell parents to give Mr. Robb a call. This was the best day by far in a long time. I don’t even care if Tracy is setting me up, I’ll take it and fix it. Just like I did with Jessica today. I wonder how much bigger she looks if she wore tighter shirts. I smiled at the thought. Jessica was happy and that made me happy. My friend may have his own girlfriend soon, Tracy wants to see me play basketball, I don’t even care who her boyfriend is, that’s a win. I opened the door and a huge grin came across my face. It did get better, my dad and mom were sitting in touch with each other. They looked at me.
“Dad You’re back!”

They both looked at each other. I noticed my mom seemed relieved. My dad seemed off. He had one of his hand crafted pottery pots. Images of the Orisha holding hands.With brilliant colors of red, yellow, and green. He taught me about two of them. Aja, Obo, Iku, and Oya. My sister was playing on the floor with our new cat.. My world happiness ran away as fast as it did to get home. To tell my mom about Tracy. But now I knew Joe and Jonathan were right. I could see it on both of my parents’ faces. Anger and sadness crept up behind me, both holding my shoulders. Disgust patted my head. Fera walked around me. My dad opened his mouth first.

“Boy…Lonnie, we decided to get a divorce.”