Chapter 3: Grant

“She shouldn’t blame herself,” Waldo whispered as we watched Pagie and Liam leave. Paige said it was all her fault out loud, but everyone is grieving in their way. No one but us heard her.  Today is one of those illogical days. We’re here mourning the death of one of our friends.  Now we have to worry more about each other as we try to heal. If we can heal.  Waldo sounded concerned and that’s good. Normally he’s brooding so to hear him voice concern is a good start for us all. 

“I know, if anyone is to blame,” I whispered back. “It’s me.”  I knew for a while Eric and Teresa were trying to help her with Shalin.  He told me and she told me.  I know she called Eric the night she died because she called me too.  He doesn’t know that I know. I guess he probably feels the same way. If I had gone, she could be here.  

I looked at Waldo and he had his arms crossed. Eyes scowled at me. Forget his eyes, I could feel his anger. It felt like when you touched a running computer that didn’t have a cooling fan or environment. The heat radiated and unlike a computer, he was ready to blow.  Waldo’s temper wasn’t the best I would say he was the most short-tempered of us all. That’s including Paige, and that is saying something.  He wanted an explanation I suppose. We were both scientific prodigies for our age. Logic ruled our world.

“It’s true. She wouldn’t be dead if I went there with her.  You know Teesa was always there for me. We grew up together and she fought my bullies when we were younger. A memory uploaded from my brain like a computer. I could see Teresa punching Shalin in the face when we were kids. 

Thinking about that moment brought a tear to my eye. Still, the memory kept going. I could see the force of her punch knocking a tooth out.  “She took on Shalin.  He used to terrorize me until she punched him and dislodged his tooth. Now here I am at her funeral. I didn’t get the chance to protect her.”  I have plenty of possessions, but my friends are my prized ones. It takes many working parts for a computer to work and that’s how I see us all. I lost one of my most prized possessions and I can never get her back. In a way, I felt more guilty that at least Eric tried to get her out of that abusive relationship. I sort of let her experience it for herself. Of course, I told her he wasn’t good, after all, he terrorized us most of our childhood. 

Waldo continued to scowl at me and his words felt like hot knives trying to cut me. “I get it, but it still isn’t your fault. You can’t be everywhere and save everyone. Not even Superman can do that and you’re not Superman.” 

Those words burned, but now, it’s my turn to lock eyes with him. If he gave off heat, I gave off lightning.  The intensity of the stare-down made the rain almost non-existent. Nothing could break this up. I refuse to have him tell me what I can do. Not when it comes to my friends, family, or others in need.  

“I’m not doing this with you. Not here.” I stressed my words, not backing down from the heat of his eyes. Both of us started sweating. 

Waldo backed up and pounded his fist into his palm. The knuckles cracking. I can’t believe this, he is ready to fight in front of all these people. Disrespecting Teresa’s funeral. He isn’t thinking straight, he’s letting his anger control him again. 

“That’s fine with me, go ahead and keep blaming yourself for something out of your control,” he said, his mouth wider than normal, but still refraining from yelling. His eyes looked as if they could burst into flames. His whole body seemed to be running as hot as technology equipment. He figured they could be a walking fireball, a quiet, roasting fireball. Even the words burned with a quiet rage.

We have known each other for the past few years of school.  We met while he and Eric were on the soccer team. I was on the football team. We ended up in chemistry class together. From there we got to know each other and played video games.  Over that time you get to know people. Despite his quiet nature, he was a campfire. One that could get out of control.  I had to protect him from himself. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to learn to be patient with people and not be an as–“

“Where are these spiders coming from? It’s fucking raining!” My words were caught of as he let out a yell. Now that, I didn’t know about him.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of spiders?” a question more than a statement. 

“I hate them.” he panicked, but I could understand. These spiders reminded me of smaller camel spiders. The brown-red spiders were bigger than tarantulas. I don’t know insects, but I’m sure they shouldn’t be out in this pouring rain. I noticed that I also had one on my sleeve. I know we were mad at each other and grieving. But how did we not see these spiders crawl on us? Not only their size but their color.  One was on his back and must of bit him.  We knocked them off and watched as they scurried on the ground. 

“Show some respect!” a female voice yelled. A tall woman bent over and seemed to be touching one of the spiders. She looked at us as if we hurt one of her kids. Her hair color matched the spiders, but that could be me seeing things. 

“Nobody was talking to you, lady,” Waldo said. Flicking the spider towards her. This seems to make her even angrier.  She didn’t say anything and I sort of tried to show that we meant no harm. Her eyes though, were not glaring. No heat like Waldo’s. They were cold like the rain smashing into us.  Waldo walked away without a second thought. I followed but looked back at those freezing eyes and noticed something else. Something primal. Something hungry in those eyes.